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Friday, February 5, 2016

Babs and Chip in: "Blind Date of Doom!"

"Chip, Valentine's Day is next week."

"I know it's Valentine's Day, Babs.  In fact, I was just thinking about how we met.  Remember, Felicia and Rock set us up on a blind date. Boy, that was one for the books, wasn't it?"

"I'll say.  Wow, I haven't thought about that in ages.  Felicia invited me up from the Dells to help them decipher some ancient hieroglyphs they had found in a local cave."

"I remember it like it was yesterday.  I was living in the Yukon at the time, prospecting for gold...."

Chip swirled his pan of water.  The shallow river water swirled around his feet. His eyes scanned the lay of the land, looking for whoever had shot at him from the bushes yesterday.  Rumors about his stash of gold were a local legend  and there were those in town who would stop at nothing to get it. The horizon was clear.  He swirled the water around his pan, and picked out many bright nuggets.  At this rate, he would be set for the next 3 years or so of roaming the globe in search of adventures.  He packed his gear up, stowed it in the small shed he had built from sod and river rocks, set the booby trap, and started home. Felicia and Rock were throwing a party to celebrate the deciphering of some ancient hieroglyphs they had found in a local cave and they wanted him to meet the woman who had helped to finally break the code.

"Her name is Babs, and I think she's just your type.Felicia met her in a continuing ed course they took in college, How to Keep Multiple Cats Happy in Your One Room Apartment.  Extremely intelligent, pretty in a bookish sort of way.  She can speak Mandarin Chinese as well as Polish and makes a mean martini.  She rode her Honda PCX 150 up here from the Dells."



"Isn't that a scooter?"

"Yes, but it's an awesome piece of machinery."

 Rock greeted him as he came into the backyard.  It was deserted except for Felicia and another woman.

"Am I early?  Where is everybody? I thought you said to be here at 7:00."

"Everybody?  Umm, no, I guess it's just the four of us tonight."  He glanced at what was in Chip's hands. "Flowers and candy?  Really?"

"What?  What woman doesn't like flowers and candy?"

"Whatever you say.  Come on, I'll introduce you to Babs."

Chip was smitten. She was wearing a black evening gown and and carried a crossbow as an accessory. She was declaiming in some foreign language and seemed to be either reciting poetry or making a speech. She stopped short as they walked up, and stared at Chip.

 "Now, now ladies.  No more medieval Polish.  English, please. Babs, here's the guy I was telling you about.  Chip, meet Babs.  Babs, Chip."

"Hello", said Chip, handing her the flowers and candy.  She looked rather confused.  Were these gifts meant for her?  Surely they were for the hostess.  Who was this tall, dark and handsome stranger?

"Rock and I are heading out to the lecture on ancient Esquimaux written languages.  Why don't you two take a canoe ride? There's a great little restaurant about 3 clicks down the river, Salmon Sam's.  Just watch out for the class VI rapids, they can be a little dicey this time of year. Have fun!" And with that they made a beeline to their ancient Land Rover.

Babs turned to look up at Chip.  "Well, we might as well make the best of it.  I'm always up for a little adventure."

"My kind of gal.  Let us proceed on."

She gave him a quick look and smiled.  "I like Lewis and Clark too."


The first part of the trip was uneventful as they floated down the river.  The long Yukon twilight cast dappled shadows and an elk grazed on the shore. Then suddenly shots rang out.  The canoe was struck and took on water fast.  "They're after my gold!", Chip shouted. "Gold?", shouted Babs.  "Yeah, I have enough to keep me going for the next few years."

"You do?!" Babs quickly swung her crossbow around and with true aim, she sent a bolt into the bushes. The sniper was taken care of.  But the damage had been done.  The canoe was taking water on rapidly and would soon sink. "We have to swim it!" she shouted, and jumped into the rapids. Chip followed suit.  They swirled down the river, dodging rocks and getting turned around and disoriented.  When they came out the other side, they were holding hands.

"I guess this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship", Babs said, and smiled at Chip.



Babs and Chip ended up happily ever after.  You too can have a great blind date. Live dangerously and check out a book from our blind date with a book display during the month of February.  And be sure to bring that date to the Love Your Local Artist event on Friday Feb. 12 from 5:30-8:00. Meet local artists as you sample wine and refreshments, listen to music, and bid on items in the silent auction.